From my repentant heart

So this week has been absolutly crazy. With two of the girls I've been living with for the last month gone, my brother about to move, my accountabilty partner moving, my job changing, and me having to stay in an apartment with no television, possibly no internet by myself for 1 month, and the kids at my old work place asking me why I left. I feel abandonded and left behind. It's always harder to accept change when you are the one being left behind. I love moving to different places & seeing new things, but it's also easier that way to accept change, because you are looking forward to new things and people. When things change around you, yet you stay where you are, it is alot harder to accept the truth. This past week, my boss switched me out with an intern, so I am now working at the nursery next door full time, instead of working with the 5-12 year old kids at the youth center. The only reason he switched me out with the intern is because he wants someone to work another program in the youth center called open recreation, which is for 9-12 year olds and is everyday from 3-7pm and on saturdays. I was not hired to work this position, so he switched me with an intern at the nursery next door so she would work it. I saw the youth center kids yesterday & they kept asking me why I left them for the nursery kids and I told them the truth that my boss made me move & they should ask him why. One of the other staff thought it would be a nice to get the kids to sign a petition to get me back to the youth center & went around and got all of the kids signatures (including staff). Well, needless to say, my boss was very pissed off & came over and told me not to come over to the youth center for awhile. Here's where my sin comes in....... I decided to bad mouth him to my coworkers, to the parents, even to some of the kids. Cursing him out and telling them mean things about him. God convicted me of this today as I read one of my friends blogs.
I was reading an Elisabeth Elliot devotional on this today and this is what it says.....
How can this person who so annoys or offends me be God's messenger? Is God so unkind as to send that sort across my path? Insofar as his treatment of me requires more kindness than I can find in my own heart, demands love of a quality I do not possess, asks of me patience which only the Spirit of God can produce in me, he is God's messenger. God sends him in order that he may send me running to God for help.
The Psalms are full of cries to God about enemies--but it was the enemies that drove the psalmist (for example, in Psalm 64) to cry. If he had had no enemies, he would have had no need of a Protector. God will go to any lengths to bring us to Himself.
I've learned this week that no matter what you are going through, God is always right there next to you, guiding you and comforting you. I don't need to hold onto the stable, consistent things of this world to make me feel secure, but Christ alone. He is my rock and my foundation!!!
I've also learned that God puts trials and people in my life who challenge me. Even if I'm mad with them because they've wronged me, that doesn't mean that I need to bad mouth them and gossip about them. I need to cry out to God for justice. Revenge is the Lords to take, not mine.